Monday, February 9, 2009


I'm writing this post mainly to get your input! So de-lurk, and let me know what you think! :)

Z and I were reading a couples devotional book last night and it was talking about how couples should expect that their spouse WILL hurt them, disappoint them, etc. We had a problem with the word WILL. We'd rather it be MAY. Maybe it's just us, but we grew up being taught that we should always expect what we want to get. No, it's not just positive thinking hype- it's proven fact. The more you expect something to go wrong, the more it will. Now, you have to be realistic and leave room for the possibility of things going wrong, but to expect that it will? That's a risky mindset to have- especially with marriage.

The way Z & I do things, we try and model Christ's teachings as much as possible. We hold eachother to very high standards. After all, that's why we're married- we fell in love (among other things) because we both expect the best out of ourselves, other people and life, and we work hard at improving. We'd finally found someone who surpassed our standards and encouraged us to raise them even more. So therefore, in our marriage, we expect the best out of eachother, and we encourage eachother to be as perfect as we can be. Now, of course we make mistakes, and have upset eachother, but because of the deep love we have for eachother, we're able to forgive.

During our pre-marital counseling, we took an assessment that was supposed to identify any potential problem areas. When the results came back- the only area of concern was that we weren't realistic. haha.. that's because we answered questions like "Do you expect that your marriage will have major problems from time to time?" with a "No". We refused to accept the notion that we're supposed to EXPECT these things.

See what I'm saying??

Matthew 5:48- "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

So.. if God didn't expect the best out of us, please explain this verse to me. And if being perfect weren't possible, then why are we commanded here to do it? Why do people get put down for being "perfectionists"? Perhaps some go too far and obsess about it and beat themselves up terribly when they mess up- that's no good. BUT- to try to be perfect - I think it's a good thing.

A lot of people give up on this pursuit because they get discouraged or they don't have enough self confidence. Romans 3:23- "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God". You're not alone! We all mess up together! But why can't we all strive to be perfect wives, mothers, daughters (as far as I know, my readers are female :) ), and Christians together?

This has just been on my heart & mind a lot and I wanted to share. If I've sounded at all condemning, that was not my intent. I just wanted to get you thinking & possibly give you some ammo to improve your relationships & yourself. Thoughts?