Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Neck & Manners

Well, I finally found out what's wrong with my neck. 1st, I have what's called Military neck. Here's the normal curve of the upper vertebrae:
Mine looks more like this:
I've been in a few car accidents- one where I rolled an SUV twice down a hill.. so my Dr. thinks it's probably a result of whiplash.

In addition to this, my top two bones of my vertebrae are out. The top bone is out forwards and to the right. The second bone is out backwards and to the left. So.. they're going different directions and turning a bit in the process, resulting in a "bent" spinal cord and a lot of friction in the area. Usually both bones go out in the same direction. In my case, it's hard for the Chiropractor to adjust me because 1) When trying to get one bone back in place, he has to be super careful not to bump the other one further out in the process- since they're going in opposite directions, and 2) because my skull sits very low on my vertebrae, making it hard to even get to the top 2 bones.

Blah.. he adjusted me last night, but I've been in more pain ever since. This morning hasn't been enjoyable, to say the least. And.. Z and I have to move our living room furniture in tonight. Please pray that we get some help- I really don't think I can lift half a big leather couch on my own.

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On another completely unrelated note- I'm curious about something, and I want your input.

I was raised in an environment where manners were very important. Like, you use your knife to get your peas on your fork, NOT your finger. And honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Manners are no where near as important to Z, but he's come a long way in the past 2 years (almost) we've been together. The men at work, on the other hand?? Yeah. I think they know what the word manners means, but the see absolutely no use for it in the workplace.. at least when dealing with their office manager (yours truly). It annoys me big time when people are manner-less. On the other hand, I truly, deeply appreciate a courteous person. Maybe I'm old fashioned.. but that's why I'm polling you guys-

How big are you on manners? Do you put your napkin on your lap for meals? Do you say please and thank you religiously? Do you kindly ask people to do things, or do you tell them to do it? Do you say "Excuse me" when walking between people or accidentally getting in someone's way? Do you apologize when you accidentally mess someone up or just say "woops!"?

Just want to get a feel for the place of manners in today's society.. Is it a dying courtesy? Or will you stick to your manners like gum on bleachers (speaking of manners.. lol)?

17 comments:

Heather said...

Hope your neck feels better. I was in an SUV rollover and my body still aches.

Manners: I am kind of big on manners. It depends who I am with. My family is pretty cashual and we all 'be ourselves' when we are together. When I am with people I am not that close too I am more aware of being proper and using correct manners. I am pretty laid back so I dont fuss too much over them but I am not rude at the same time.

Good question!

d.a.r. said...

Okay, first of all, your neck? Ouchie!! Is there anything they can do to make it less painful?? I hope so!

Second, manners...oh my. This will be a sore spot for Z and I raising our children (like other things, we were just raised SO differently). His parents were much more relaxed about things. My parents would make me eat at the kitchen counter by myself if I couldn't follow proper dinner table etiquette. They were super strict about it, but now I am so very grateful!! Especially when we are out at formal events (like dinner interviews with big law firms, or military formal balls) when some girls just look like they were raised in a farm. Oops, did I just say that?? :)

I totally think that, as a whole, our society is becoming less formal. It breaks my heart. There is nothing stuffy about common courtesy!

Lindsey said...

Aww ouch, you poor thing!!

I'm big on manners! I always put my napkin on my lap, and religiously say please and thank you!

b is for brown said...

2 accidents? My goodness. I am sooo glad that you are ok and that all you have is whiplash. That came out terribly. I know you are suffering with this but 2 SUV accidents!? I am glad you are in one piece.

Manners are quickly dying and it makes me sad. I do try my best to have good manners. Living in NYC makes it difficult at times bc no one here has them and they think it is ok. Whatever. lol.

Jorden and Kristin said...

Your neck looks so miserable! I'm sorry! do massages help? I know that helped my mom tremendously after she had horrible whiplash.

as for manners..Jorden's family was not big on manners at all. There is no "excuse me" or anything! Thankfully Jorden picks up quick and my mom had no problem setting him straight on manners when we first started dating! We are def going to raise our kids with "please" "thank you" "excuse me" and "no sir" yes ma'am" (not for us but for strangers!) because manners are so important. I think thats really what leaves a good impression on people, especially like D.A.R said, in important meetings, events and such! Good question!

Lucy Marie said...

Sorry about your neck. I hope you can find some relief and some help with the furniture tonight. Do not strain yourself!

As for manners, I am a manner freak. My husband's family is polite but not as much as I am and I constantly catch myself correcting my nieces (his sister's children) ... adding please and thank you to the end of their sentences and telling them to respond to me by saying, "Yes, auntie". Then I feel bad when his sisters are around because I dont' really have the right to teach them how to use their manners. Oops.

Samantha said...

I am also all about the manners. Luckily, John's family is also polite.

I loved living in the south- I noticed such a huge difference when I moved down from upstate NY- doors were held, people smiled & said 'Hi' when you passed them and it just seemed like there was a much higher prevalence of manners.

We will definitely raise our kids to be polite with yes please & no thank you's, excuse me, etc. I also want to incorporate the "yes ma'am" even though we aren't in the south anymore. It just seems so much more respectful to me.

Bluebird said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your neck! I hope that now that they know what is wrong with it that your healthcare providers will be able to help you.

As for manners- they are VERY important to me. I'm the oldest of six kids and I can guarantee you when we walked into a restaurant we had the staff groaning and arguing who would be "stuck" with us just because of the shear size of our party...however, when we left, I can also tell you there were signs of pure amazement on the face of every staff member because of how well behaved we were. We were taught at a very young age to be polite.

Now I also have to admit that few of my siblings have retained their lessons in manners, but to me, politeness is a necessity.

Mandy said...

Manners are HUGE with me....napkin on lap..please and thank you...placing knife and fork on plate when finished...holding the door for people...all that stuff. It is a dying art but I will be teaching my daughter how to properly act in society!

Cristina said...

Manners are very important to me, this is how I was raised and that is how I plan on raising my children as well. I always do things like say "excuse me" when I walk in front of someone or hold the door open even if it takes the person behind me a few seconds to pass through. Manners these days are getting worse and worse.

PS - don't risk lifting the heavy furniture if you can't, you'll do more damage...be careful!

Annie said...

ow, sounds painful hun. hope you can get some help for it now that you know what the problem is.

on to manners, i was raised with manners as well. i think my man was not raised with many manners (kind of spoiled) or maybe it's just that he's a guy, macho. he has gotten better too tho. while i was watching 4 little boys over the weekend i kept thinking how rude they were towards me at times and just didn't seem to have any manners. they have the sweetest parents and i think their parents enforce manners when they are home but the boys didn't feel they had to use their manners around me much.
when i have kids i will for sure be strict with manners like my parents were, raising polite kids makes them who they are as adults.

Mary Michal said...

I'm so sorry about your neck. Is there anything your doctor can do about it?

Manners: I'm more of a stickler about verbal manners. Saying "please" and "thank you" are a must for me along with apologizing when appropriate. I also think kids should be raised to say "yes ma'am" and "yes sir". But I'm not a stickler for table etiquette. I would like my kids to know table etiquette so it can be used when appropriate but to not feel obligated to be formal all the time.

New England Girl said...

Gosh! I hope your neck starts to feel better soon than later, and you can find a solution to ease the pain! We have a dear friend of the family who rolled an SUV, too, and she's had so many problems since. It's so sad! Sending hugs your way!

As for manners... they are huge to me! And I wish so many more people looked to them as being more important in every day life. The basics should be simple - being courteous; saying thank you, please, bless you, excuse me, etc; having table manners that don't resemble a caveman; not speaking on your phone when with other people; and so many more. And they are all such simple things! I was brought up not to swear, to always mind my elders, say sir and ma'am when appropriate, to act accordingly in public [my parents always reminded us that how we acted was a direct comment on our family name- something which I think should be instilled in children!] and so much more. It makes for more pleasant people. Today's society is definitely losing it's humanity with manners disappearing. It's so sad!

Justine said...

Oh no!! I hope they can fix your out of line bones. That's miserable :(

I am a HUGE manner fanatic. Pleases and Thank You's. Excuse me. Napkin in lap. No elbows on table. You get the picture. Polite people make my day a million times better!

Children of the 90s said...

Ouch! Hopefully you will feel better soon.

As for manners, my grandparents once told my parents I was ungrateful (I was maybe 7 at the time) and I'm fairly certain I was traumatized by it. I feel a compelling need to say please and thank you to everyone all the time. It's a good habit, though!

Carol said...

I'm sorry to hear about your neck, but hopefully it will be good as new soon! Also, I am HUGE on manners too. It amazes me the lack of manners some people have...

mrs.leah.maria said...

Oh my goodness hun! You poor thing! That does not look natural. And what a bummer that you've been in so many accidents!

I'm definitely curteous. Tony and I also have a very polite relationship lol.