Saturday, November 21, 2009

Stress

Readers, thanks for sticking with me. I have been physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted lately. When I took this new job, I had no idea it would be the way it is. Don't get me wrong, it was definitely a blessing. And I do believe it's where God wants me right now. But, it's been very, very stressful.

If I didn't tell you before, I'm the financial coordinator for an oral and maxillofacial surgeon. We do everything from wisdom teeth extractions to botox and face lifts. I'm pretty sure I'm the only Christian working there, so that makes it a little tough. The language is pretty rough. Okay, really rough. The pressure is on me pretty thick to be bringing in $$$. So, on weeks where the numbers are low, the stress really gets to me.

I've been pulling a lot of 10 hour days, going home with little to no energy. I've been dreaming about balancing accounts and fighting insurance companies almost every night. It's not a job I can leave my office and forget about. I'm constantly trying to think about ways I can bring my AR numbers down or prove my work ethic more.

I'm also having issues with stress-eating. I constantly get the urge to munch. I have pretty much been inhaling life savers. Thankfully, my thighs aren't showing the results of that too much yet. I'm trying to stock my desk with clementines, apples, and bananas instead. So far, that has helped. Next week I'm going on a sugar-candy fast. After my mom's lecture about how excess sugar weakens the immune system (yes, she's an RN), I've decided to cut down. H1N1 is EVERYWHERE now. 12 % of the local high school was out sick a couple weeks ago. I'm just grateful to be healthy right now.

Anyway.. that would be the reason for my lack of posting. I've just been feeling drained, consumed with work. And since I don't want to bore you everyday with my rambling about numbers, I haven't been posting. I sure would appreciate your prayers. I know it'll get better eventually. It has already started to. My numbers last week were much, much better. God is giving me patience and strength and is starting to reward all my hard work. Despite the circumstances, He is faithful!

I think I'm starting to get used to it, and I'm sure I'll get into a routine that works for me soon. I've missed you all like crazy!! I've been keeping up with your blogs, and even when I don't have time to comment, know that my prayers are with you guys! :)

And, just to make this not a totally pictureless post, here are a few from a recent family hike:

{gorgeous, eh? :)}

{haha, it's hunting season..}

{my goofball sister..}

{the whole fam}

7 comments:

Vanessa said...

I hope and pray the work environment gets better. But remember,just because God is helping you cope and get THROUGH your work day, doesn't mean that is where he wants you to be. Something tells me there is a difference between God testing us in our work days to have greater faith - and him putting you in an environment that could be poisonus to your soul.
I've been in one of those jobs before. And even though I saw lots of good in it, bringing it home, dreaming about it, and stressing about it ended up hurting a lot of the relationships in my life and put more stress on my marriage than I ever could have imagined. (Something I didn't see until MUCH later on) Ultimately it was a bitter, poisonus, and unhealthy environment... to cope I found myself inhailing chinese food and DQ Blizzards - as well was an unhealty dependancy on coffee... on top of blowing beacoup bucks on clothes durring retail therapy splurges.

In the end when I walked away (after praying and searching for an economically possible solution)I realized that not all jobs are meant to be and that quitting DOESN'T equal failure.

If you stick it out and it turns wonderful - great. But if you find that you are losing yourself while trying to stick it out and see the "bigger picture in it". The "bigger picture" might just be a lesson in standing up for your self worth, personal convictions, and doing what makes you happy.

I know what you're going through, and I know how difficult it is to find GOOD work up there - but if you find yourself with a way out and all you see are rainbows, sunshine, and a breath of fresh air it might just be the solution you're looking for.

Courtney said...

Thanks girl, you're too sweet! I'm definitely not staying for the long haul if it doesn't improve soon.. I just feel like I have to give it a little more time. If you still lived closer, I would give you a BIG hug right now! ;)

Lucy Marie said...

I'm glad to hear the update. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. I'll be praying for you that the situation gets better. I know how difficult it is to be an environment where there are no other Christians and to add the stressful job to mix must not help at all. Praying for restored energy for you. xoxoxo

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

hi hun ;) so glad you're okay-but sorry life is so stressful. If it makes you feel any better I'm eating way too much candy/gum then I should be. Its an odd pregnancy craving of mine...I'll say... ;0

xox

Jenny Lynn said...

good luck with everything!
although it's tough, it's a blessing to know that God has placed you here and is using you for His glory.

Michele said...

Aww, sorry hun, hang in there. I would think someone like you would brighten up the office. We sure could use someone like you here. I can have a bad mouth from time to time but sometimes my coworkers even embarass me!

I love reading your blog, keep posting! You always seem to have something meaningful to say!

Brett Alexandra said...

Oh gosh, I hope everything calms down for you girl!! I don't deal well with stress so I feel for you!