It's Official

Remember that certain something that I couldn't tell you all yet... Well, we've given our notices at work, and are planning on being moved back home (to Maine) by the end of the month! More details to come!

I'm Still Here!

Whew! Where were we again? Apparently I get an F in blogging lately. But then again.. life gets in the way, and sometimes it's good to take a break. What have I been up to?? Let me fill you in.

Left for Kentucky Friday. Got there just before dark. Set the tent up All.By.Myself. Tried to sleep even though my back was yelling at me for the minimal padding between it and the ground. Woke up. Jumped on the back of Z's 4-wheeler, and rode around for a few hours. Held on for dear life while getting covered in dust. Had fun though. Went back to campsite for lunch. Washed grit out of my teeth and ate a PB&J. Took a nap with A (Z's cousin's wife) while the boys (Z & said cousin) did some "real" 4-wheeling. [sidenote: apparently it's not real 4-wheeling unless you're doing like 55 mph in the woods] Drove to the "lake" with A, only to find out it was filled with algae & would no way get me any cleaner than I was. Went back to campsite. Took "shower" in little water spiget that came 2 feet high out of a concrete slab. Felt fresh again. All was well. Boys got back. Made supper over the campfire. MMMmmm, pizza pie! Made s'mores. Colapsed into sleeping bag. Woke up, ate muffin. Packed up all our gear. Took the tent down All.By.Myself. Did a wee bit more 4-wheeling. Headed home.

If you just read that, you're a trooper, and I love you. :) The only pic. I have with me at work is this one, of our campsite.


Once we got home we showered & went to the viewing for my boss. We waited in line for 3 hours just to see the family, but I wasn't annoyed at all. I was so happy that many people were there. The estimate was 1,000 people. Crazy. It was pretty tough, not gonna lie. Seeing so many pictures of him, and momentos from his office on display was such a stark reminder that he wasn't there anymore.

I had monday off for the funeral, and so Z took it off too. We went an hour early just to get seats. If I thought the viewing was tough.. whew! The funeral was way worse. They opened it up for people to share memories of him, and several people barely choked through theirs to get words out. Like I'd said before, he crashed with his good friend, who survived the accident with minimal hurt. Well, his friend was there, sitting a couple rows in front of us. He got up spoke only a few words because he was so choked up- he said that he didn't understand, didn't know why he hadn't seen him that night, that he was such a good friend, etc. Oh my gosh.. there wasn't a dry eye in the place! The line of cars to go to the graveside was so long they had intersections blocked off and police escorts. It was hard, but I'm doing well. Please continue to pray for his family- It's going to be a long time before anything feels normal for them again.

After all of that was over, my WONDERFUL hubby took me south for a little retail therapy. We hit up a new outlet mall, and somehow I only walked away with one shirt from JCrew. Don't know how that happened! We went to Ikea after and let's just say.. I walked away with slightly more than that. :) Check out Project Pretty in a day or so to see what we scored.

Now, we're all unpacked, the house is cleaned up, and we're back to work. Still feels eerie looking down the hall at a closed door, but life is going on. And that's what he would have wanted.

Catching Up

I feel like I'm so behind right now. It's nuts. But today I'm going to try and do some catching up on a couple awards I received.

The first is from Kristin. This girl and I were totally meant to be friends. Somehow we found each other on facebook through mutual friends. Then I think I messaged her because she was looking for wedding songs or something. Then we discovered out mutual love for theknot/thenest.com. Then we discovered we were both bloggers. lol. Oh, and we're going to meet up in person next month hopefully. So anyway, she's a sweetheart & I can't wait to meet her! She gave me the Fab Blog Award.

For this I have to list 5 current obsessions & tag 5 others. So here's the obsessions.

1. Prayer. Seriously. God has been testing me lately, and I believe trying to make me stronger and more faithful. Prayer's the only thing that's gotten me through. Oh, and you know what's great?? He ANSWERS. :)

2. Natural-ish design elements. Stuff that's raw. Like jute, linen, burlap, unstained wood, tree branches.. you name it.

3. Subway. Z would tell you it doesn't count because I get veggie subs. :) I would get something with chicken if it didn't look like something put in the blender, mashed together, and labeled chicken breast. Eeek. Sorry if I just ruined chicken subs for you.

4. Paint. But really, what else is new??

5. Tissues. I've had a cold. My nose is masquerading as a faucet. Tissues are my lifesavers. Sorry if you just got a nasty mental image. :)

Now, for the tags..
Summer
Sarah
Three Men & a Lady
Sarah
Melanie



Also.. Courtney tagged me for the Premium Meme Award. This girl is just too cute! I also think we were destined to be friends.. after all, we have the same name, right?!? (oops, just let it slip!) She's new to blogging, but I've totally enjoyed getting to know her!

For this award, you're supposed to list 7 random things about yourself and tag other people you want to know more about.

Weeeelllllll.... you all have been getting a good dose of "About me" lately, and I'm beginning to feel a bit.. self-consumed. lol So just read a few of the last posts to catch you up, k? I also added a link to the about me posts in me left sidebar.

And for the tagging..
Holla! to one of my blogging bffs, Roeshel.
And I'm tagging a new follower, Lauren Kelly.

Spill it, ladies!! :)


Tomorrow after work Z and I are headed to Kentucky with his cousin & his wife for a weekend of four-wheeling and hiking. Say your prayers for me people. Four-wheeling and I DO NOT have a good history. Oh, and since we'll be camping and "roughing it", Z thinks we're going to eat gorp (trail mix to most of you) all weekend like we did in the Rockies that time... ha! Not for this chika.. I'm going grocery shopping this afternoon. :)

All About C&Z

Thank you all for your sweet, caring comments. You've been such a comfort. Love you guys!

I figured I'd do this little quiz popping up all over blog-land to lighten the mood. [I know I still have Part 2 of the questions to do. I swear I'll get to it!!]

♥ What are your middle names? Alyssa & Alan. [Now, you know our middle names, and not our first names.. lol]

♥ How long have you been together? 2 years

♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating? About 5 years

♥ Who asked whom out? After having a long distance "phone relationship" for 2 months, we sealed it with a kiss and assumed it was official. :)

♥ Whose siblings do/did you see the most? His. We're 1200 miles from mine.

♥ Do you have any children together? Not yet.. give us ~3 years.

♥ What about pets? Not yet. Once we own our own house, it's on the agenda! :)

♥ Did you go to the same school? Nope (again, the distance thing)

♥ Who is the smartest? book smarts- me / critical thinking & ingenuity- him

♥ Who is more sensitive? Me. Oh lord.. me. If you ask him, he'll say too much and grin. :)

♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple? We have a fave mexican place that we go from time to time.. but every Saturday after church we go to Culver's

♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Maine from Ohio (home for me, 21 hours from where we are now)

♥ Who has the craziest exes? Um.. neither of us have a whole slew of exes, but I'm pretty sure I'd take the cake on this one..

♥ Who has the worst temper? Neither of us have much of a temper.. but me if it comes to getting upset over smaller things.. him when it comes to a really deep issue making him mad

♥ Who does the cooking? Me. The only meal he's cooked since we've been married is grilled cheese. Although, when I make hamburgers or chicken, he does the grilling.

♥ Who is more social? Me.

♥ Who is the neat-freak? That'd be me again..

♥ Who is more stubborn? Me.. but of course it's hard for a stubborn person to admit they are..

♥ Who hogs the bed? Neither really.. but I have gotten whacked in the face a time or two. :)

♥ Who wakes up earlier? Me. I start work a half hour earlier.. but he does get up and eat breakfast with me. :)

♥ Where was your first date? Silver Beach on Lake Michigan

♥ Who has the bigger family? Me

♥ Do you get flowers often? Not a lot, but when I do, it makes me flutter :)

♥ How do you spend the holidays? Well.. we've only been married 8 1/2 months so we don't have a tradition yet, but I imagine we'll be alternating between Ohio & Maine w/ both families.

♥ Who is more jealous? neither

♥ How long did it take to get serious? uh.. on his end- he told his bff he was going to marry me before we started dating. For me.. still quick, but after 2 months of "phone dating" and a few weeks of real dating (meaning him driving to MI to see me on the weekends), I was serious. Guess we had to either 'do it or die' because of the distance.

♥ Who eats more? Him. But I can keep up better than is probably lady-like. :)

♥ Who does/did the laundry? Me. Once in a while I can convince him to switch a load over or fold his boxers.

♥ Who’s better with the computer? Him. I married an under-cover genius.


♥ Who drives when you are together? Him. Always him.


That was fun! Def. helps get my mind of things! :)

Remembering

Can I be real with you all?? [I just don't feel right being a New England girl and saying ya'll, even though it's easier..]

Stupid question. You all get the real deal in every post. Maybe a little more transparent than normal is a better way of putting it.

Yesterday sucked. I went into work on 2 hours of spotty sleep. I walked by my boss' empty office all day. I look directly at it from my desk. And I was just waiting for him to walk out.. To hear hear him laughing or have him give me a hard time about something and nudge my arm the way he always did. I broke down a couple times in the bathroom and cried on the tile floor. I couldn't eat lunch. I did manage a bite-size snickers bar, though. [I'm really trying to ignore the fact that that might be a sign of comfort-eating.]

I had to answer the phone and hear, "Hi, is [boss' name] there?" a couple times. I then had to keep my composure and explain to them that he had died. I can't say passed away, because he didn't. He didn't just "pass away". He crashed mid-air, was thrown into a cornfield, and had the life ripped from him. Passing away is when you're 90 and you simply go to sleep. My boss was killed. No one's fault, but I just can't pass it off as something that sounds so everyday and easy. It was tragic. Unexpected. And it's left so many people just reeling.

I left work 45 min. early because I wasn't getting anything done. I'd sit at my desk and just zone out, imagining what must have gone through his mind in his last moments.

I got home and tried to do 'normal' things. I started cooking Z supper, and hit my elbow on something. Normally, I'd just grit my teeth til it started feeling better. But for some reason it triggered a wave of emotion and I collapsed on the living room floor, sobbing.

I pulled myself together and got dinner going. I had on the TV in the background (I have to have background noise when I'm home alone). Bad move. The 5 o'clock news came on, and guess what story they started with? Yeah. They showed the spot in the cornfield where he went down. Of course this started me bawling again.

And of course the UPS man had to choose that exact moment to knock on my door. Poor guy. Then one of my bff's called for a friendly chat.. only to hear me all choked up and tell her what had happened. Poor girl. Then Z came home to find all this happening. Poor guy.

Being in Z's arms seems like the greatest comfort right now. We ate dinner and went into our room to lay down for a while. Well, I fell asleep at 6pm-ish.. and woke up this morning around 6am. That helped. Today's a little bit better. Still hard, but better.

Now.. I'm not going to end this post here. 'Cause honestly, I have a hard time when other people write posts like this. You know they're hurting, but what can you possibly say that's going to help?!? Seems like I never have adequate words to comfort anyone.. and I'm sure some of you feel the same way. So don't feel like you have to say something to make me feel better. I know you all care. And I appreciate every one of you so much. I'm sure if you all were here in person, we'd all hug and we wouldn't need words.

This morning, something dawned on me. What would he want us doing after his death? Probably working hard, and going on with life. He'd have rather died doing something he loved (flying) than suffering with some disease. He'd want us to excel the business, enjoy our off time, and hold on to Christ. He wouldn't want a lot of flowers at his funeral- he thinks most of them stink. Oh, and he'd want the office to stay especially clean. :)

So, that's what I'll do. There are still going to be tough times.. probably more than I'm anticipating.. but over all, I'm going to try and live like he'd want us to. I think I owe him that. And I'm looking forward to seeing him in heaven. 'Cause I know without a doubt he'll be there.

When Our Hearts Just Don't Understand..

My boss died tragically last night in an accident. He was up flying his ultralight and crashed into his good friend, who also flies. His friend went to the hospital, but is going to be fine. My boss died before emergency crews arrived.

We have a small office staff of 6 people, and we're all like family. He was a great man. After seeing him almost every day for the past year and a half.. it's just.. hard. He was very fatherly to me.. and to many. I wasn't going to come in to work today.. but I felt like they needed me. I knew it would be hard.. but to see my grown men co-workers fighting back tears.. and to answer the phone over and over answering the questions that yes, he did die last night.. it's heartbreaking. Every call and email I get it brings fresh tears to my eyes.

8 days ago his father died as well. His father was 83, and they all got to say goodbye.. but this was so unexpected. I'm sure his family is torn apart. I know his daughter pretty well, and I can't imagine being in her place- losing her grandpa and father within 8 days of each other. I can't imagine being his friend who was involved with the crash. I pray he doesn't feel guilty. .

Part of me just wants to ask why?? He was young (56), had a wonderful family, and was an amazing business man. It's just not supposed to happen that way. But the other part of me knows without a doubt that God is in control. My boss was a strong Christian. There were several occasions when I'd walk into his office in the morning and see his daily devotional book sitting open on his desk. He's okay now. He's not suffering. And the next thing that he'll see will be Jesus coming to take him home.

So while my heart doesn't understand, and my eyes are raw from the tears.. I am thankful for a God who is preparing us something so much better than this life. I'm thankful for my boss' example. And I truly hope you all never take one moment for granted. I hope you know without a doubt that you'll be in heaven with him. And please.. just keep all of us who knew and loved him in your prayers. These next few days won't be easy.

Answers: Part One

Lucy asks:
What is your favourite/least favourite DIY project you've done?

Hmm.. Fave DIY project would have to be my glass lamp. It was just such a spur of the moment thing- the idea just came to me in the store, and it ended up looking like a million bucks!

Least fave.. Probably my mid-century modern dresser. What Project Pretty readers didn't see is what happened when I applied a coat of Polyurethane. I had 2 coats of primer and 3 coats of white paint on that baby and it was looking good. And then I applied a THIN coat of poly. And the whole thing turned yellow. I had to paint all over again. I might have been so mad I cried on that one... ;)

What does a day in the life of C look like?

I wake up at 6am & cuddle with Z for about 10 minutes. Then I shower, get ready, eat breakfast, make Z lunch, and leave for work at 7am.

I start work at 7:30am. I always start by checking email. Then, depending on the day, I work on payroll, billing, various contract work, etc. til I get off at 4.

On my way home I run my errands- which are usually either to the bank, post office, grocery store, JoAnn's, Menard's, Marshalls (that's an errand right? :)), or Target.

On a good night, I get home and cook dinner. If something's in the oven, I usually run out & get a project set up in the garage. The food's usually ready by 6, then Z helps me clean up & we're done by 6:45.

I usually spend the next couple hours working on some DIY project in the garage or at my sewing desk. The rest of the night is usually spent reading design books, blogging & reading blogs, or Z and I will settle in on the couch for a movie about once a week. When we're on the internet or reading, we like to do it in the same room so we can chat about what we're doing. Oh, and if it's a really good night, I go for a run just before dark. :)

And ... are you SURE you're not pregnant?? ;)

Ha! No, I'm not 100% sure. But I will be in a couple weeks. :) Although, I HIGHLY, highly doubt it's possible.


Carol asked: What is your fave meal to cook?

Hmm.. If I'm feeling like super-wife, then Bruchetta stuffed chicken. If I feel like a quick meal then either Corn Chowder or Baked Ziti.


S asked: Have you always been into design?

When I was a lot younger, I always thought about being an interior designer.. but figured I'd have to move to a big city to do it. I never saw myself being too far away from family so I put the idea out of my mind. As I grew up, I made my own purses, and designed my own skirts, etc. I spent hours playing the Sims game. I'd design the houses and then quit. I didn't care what the "people" did as long as I made the house look pretty. :) I have always found a creative outlet somewhere. I thought I wanted a career in Marketing, so that's what I started going to school for. And I hated it. God showed me that being a kick-butt boss lady in some corporation wasn't going to make me happy. It would've turned me into someone less than my best. It was then that I fell in love with wedding design. I did a little bit of wedding planner work. Then that turned into falling in love with interior decorating. It almost became an addiction. When I realized that I could work towards owning my own wedding design & interior decorating business, I was ecstatic. The idea of getting to share my love for design with people and give them an event or space that they loved made me feel so... full. Whew! That was probably more than you asked for huh? ;)

How long did you and z know each other before you got engaged?

Z and I met in 2002 at a summer leadership camp/conference. We kept in touch somewhat & went to camp for the next 5 years, but had no romantic interest whatsoever. That changed the last year we were there. We started dating in Sept. of 2007. We told our families we wanted to get married that December (yes, after barely 4 months of dating). Z proposed in April of 2008, and we were married November 29, 2008. It was a whirlwind, but I've never been so sure of anything in my life.


That's the end of Part One! I'm sure some of you have got to have a few more questions, so fire a few more off, and I'll answer the rest tomorrow. :)